May 19 2013
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Basketball

Look to the West: NBA Conference Final Preview

By: Dan Grant

INT – DEEP IN THE SAME PAGE HQ, SOMEWHERE IN THE WILD TUNDRA OF THE NORTH OR AT A QUAINT BRUNCH SPOT ON COLLEGE STREET

Grant: Hello? Is this thing on?

Reynolds: Dan, what are you doing here?

Grant: It took some doing but I’ve got my Western Conference predictions done.

Reynolds: Wait, has the series started yet?

Grant: It starts tonight.

Reynolds: And… and… you have it done already?

Grant: Ready to go!

Reynolds: But… but… it’s Sunday. Don’t you realize the Internet is closed on Sundays?

Grant: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! [runs off screaming]

Reynolds: Well I hardly think that’s necessary.

Tim Duncan would like a hug.

Tim Duncan would like a hug.

SAN ANTONIO SPURS vs. MEMPHIS GRIZZLIES

Oh man. This is going to get ug— wait? I’ve said that about every Memphis series so far? Well they play ugly! It’s a deserved reputation! It’s also a good thing and the way they’ll need to play if they’re going to beat the Spurs. San Antonio and Memphis have met before, and recently. In 2011, the top seeded Spurs were knocked off by the 8th seeded Grizzlies in the first round of the playoffs, only the third time an 8 seed has beaten a 1 seed, ever. If you think San Antonio isn’t looking for revenge as much as Memphis is looking for validation, well, then I have a DeLorean that just needs a flux capacitor to sell you.

Memphis’ road to the conference finals has been that of a wrecking ball smashing through an abandoned K-Mart (the store, not the guy). I’ll cop to the fact that I initially thought Chris Paul would carve the Grizz up in Round 1, and through 2 games, that looked like it would be the case, as the Clips went up 2-0. Some injuries and terrible coaching later, Memphis took the next 4 in a row, essentially sweeping the Clippers out of the playoffs. Mike Conley Jr., who had shouldered a larger load after the Rudy Gay trade, showed that he was up to the challenge of competing with the elite point guards in the NBA, which vaulted this Memphis team from fringe contenders to real contenders.

The Russell Westbrook injury threw open the door to the Western Conference and Memphis has taken full advantage. I’ll pat myself on the back, as I predicted a Grizzlies victory over the Westbrookless Thunder, although I did think it would go 7 games. The fact that Memphis disposed of the former Western Conference Champs in 5 shows just how well they’re playing right now. If you throw out those first two Clippers games (which I will, because this is my article and you can’t stop me!) Memphis is 8-1 in these playoffs and have knocked off two division champions, including the top seeded OKC squad. They’re rolling right now.

The San Antonio Spurs are a paradox, seemingly, every season. They finished 2nd in the West this year, winning 58 games, going over 50 for the 15th time in Tim Duncan’s 16 seasons. But they’re the Rodney Dangerfield of the NBA, despite having one of the best ten players of all time in the aforementioned Timmy D, an all-world point guard in Tony Parker and the best non-Phil coach in NBA history (yeah I said it) in Gregg Popovich. And still, they’re nobody’s pick to win the Finals; they weren’t even when they won all FOUR of their titles. In 1999, they won in the lockout shortened season, so people discounted the title then and still do. In 2003, nobody thought they would be able to beat the Lakers, who had just completed a three-peat; when they won, the Shaq-Kobe feud was blamed. In 2005, when they beat the defending champion Pistons, a Dwyane Wade injury was blamed, as the pundits loved the Shaq-Wade combo in Miami and thought they were the front runners, something that was validated when the Heat won in 2006. And in 2007, people were already talking about Duncan being washed up and all the storylines were about a young upstart named LeBron James dragging his misfit Cavaliers to the finals. That was six years ago!

Does Tim Duncan look washed up to you? A finalist for defensive player of the year this year at age 37, Duncan has benefited from his minutes being managed beautifully, and still being able to find a sixth gear from time to time, which the Spurs need from him. The development of Tiago Splitter has been astounding, as has the emergence of Danny Green. Kawhi Leonard has become a force of nature on the perimeter and though he’s looking old, Manu Ginobili is still an incredible weapon to have coming off the bench.
The team finished tied for 3rd in the NBA in defensive efficiency this year and 7th in offensive efficiency. They finished 5th in the league in 3 point percentage and 3rd in overall FG%. They finished 3rd in assist % (the percentage of their baskets created by an assist. Essentially this shows how good a team is at passing) and 3rd in defensive rebound rate, grabbing nearly 75% of available rebounds on their own end.

That was a lot of statistical mumbo jumbo, but it all adds up to one thing: THE SPURS ARE REALLY FUCKING GOOD! Offense, defense, everywhere. They’re well coached, intelligent and ruthlessly efficient.  It has been forgotten or dismissed too many times and I had to mention it here.

This is the best picture I could find of Marc Gasol.

This is the best picture I could find of Marc Gasol.

Keys to the Series: As I just mentioned, the Spurs are incredible at controlling the defensive glass. The Grizzlies are going to have to do their best to break this down, and they have the personnel to do so. Zach Randolph and Marc Gasol have been absolutely punishing throughout the playoffs, using their unique combination of physicality, soft hands and basketball IQ to punish the big men of both the Clippers and Thunder.

But they haven’t played Tim Duncan yet. The Z-Bo/Gasol vs. Timmy D/Splitter matchup is going to be a war. The Spurs were able to overpower the Warriors in Round 2, a team that tried to use Harrison Barnes as a small-ball four, the new NBA trend. While Barnes certainly isn’t of the ilk or calibre of a Carmelo Anthony or LeBron James, the Spurs showed the blueprint for beating the rudimentary version of that system. That matchup doesn’t exist in this series. It’s going to be a more traditional battle and the Spurs are going to need to use all their veteran savvy to stop Memphis.

Another matchup that will be absolutely key is that of Mike Conley vs. Tony Parker. While they likely won’t guard one another, they’re both going to have to dictate the will of their respective teams. I expect Memphis defensive specialist Tony Allen to take on Parker on the defensive end, not because Conley can’t but just to get him some rest. Conley can handle a Danny Green, more of a corner shooter, or a Manu Ginobili on the perimeter, though Allen and Conley are a ferocious tandem that will be able to mix and match based on the situation. Green and Kawhi Leonard will likely try to cover Conley for San Antonio, as Parker isn’t a great perimeter defender and Conley’s speed and ambidextrous ball handling might give them fits.

I think that while I gave my shout out to the Spurs above, that was out of respect. The Grizzlies are younger, stronger and on a roll.
That leads us to our final matchup: Gregg Popovich vs. Lionel Hollins. I love Pop and if I could choose any coach in the NBA to start a franchise with, it would be him. He’s the master of making something out of nothing, of finding diamonds in the rough and of constantly tweaking his system to fit his personnel. He’s a Hall of Famer. But Lionel Hollins is no slouch either. He took a team that traded its leading scorer and turned that into a positive thing, giving the squad a true identity and taking them further than they’ve ever been before. Unless Gregg Popovich can pull an all-time coaching job on Hollins, the Grizzlies are heading to their first NBA Finals.

Prediction: Memphis in 6

———————

Reynolds: Wait, who is going to write about the Heat vs. Pacers matchup?

Grant: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reynolds: Well then.

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May 17 2013
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Art, Urban Affairs, Video Games

Tales of Nostalgia: A Trip to the Ontario Science Centre

By: Daniel Reynolds

In my elementary school there was this tiled L-shaped dividing wall inside the basement bathroom doors. For us hyperactive four and five year old boys at the time, it existed not as a barrier but a challenge. We would take turns sprinting the length of this cavern, making attempts to leap up and grab a hold of the ledge that seemed so impossibly high. There was a graceless physics to our efforts, a meager understanding of momentum and gravity, but we had kinetic energy to spare. And potentially hitting the top of the wall, even after failing again and again, felt so significant.

Fast forward a couple of years and now that energy has translated itself into video game-centric activity. Those same principles of nostalgia still apply. The tactile wall of memory becomes something of a digital leap. My mind remembers running in the bathroom trying to jump higher and higher, and it remembers those afternoons spent trying to guide Mario across the Mushroom Kingdom, similarly bouncing along towards a hard fought goal.

The Ontario Science Centre.

The Ontario Science Centre.

When I read that the Ontario Science Centre was holding a six month special exhibit of video games and their history, I was drawn in by those old sly remembrances of endless competitions and challenges, of repetitive attempts to climb, jump, shoot, explore and achieve. I wanted to remember what it felt like to play some of those old games again but also, I wanted to re-experience the old Science Centre again. This may sound funny, but it felt vaguely like jumping for the top of that wall again. In my mind’s eye, the Centre was a distant complex, built in another land, housing untold scientific puzzles, wondrous devices and confounding demonstrations. I wanted to attempt a two-fold trip back in time.

In truth, the Science Centre has always felt like the odd man out on the roster of institutions in Toronto. The theatre and entertainment scene is unimpeachable, the ROM has always been the most prominent (and controversial) installation, the AGO operates as the most graceful of necessities, the Zoo is earthy and approachable. But what of the Science Centre? Like the nearly shuttered Ontario Place, the outward appearance of the Centre, all brutal hard angles and poured concrete, is one of a lost artifact from a different time.

It still boasts a great location, though. After paying the entrance fee, my compatriot and I (yes, I convinced someone to join me on this solo trip down memory lane) took the stroll down a glass-sided hallway, overlooking a ravine. The windows have those black bird silhouettes pasted across them, useful – as I remember learning for the first time – for keeping birds from an ignoble death. Keeping with the macabre, you start your descent down into the facility itself.

I definitely did not remember all the escalators. The Science Centre is actually split into various pods that are positioned down the sloping side of the ravine. You descend multiple escalators to get to the special exhibits and science arcade located at the bottom. Sort of a low-level journey to the centre of the earth. The ROM and AGO may want you to feel like you are soaring through skies of light and air; the Science Centre insists you go down, to the root of it all.

Past a construction zone to the right, and the Weston Family Innovation Centre, with its mix of science feats and DIY gizmo area (including a stop-motion animation station!), there was the real reason for our visit: the Game On 2.0 exhibit.

Basking in the glow of nostalgia (and CRT monitors).

Basking in the glow of nostalgia (and CRT monitors).

In a series of winding hallways, the Game On 2.0 exhibit houses a remarkable collection of video and computer game consoles. I’d be lying if I said I couldn’t spend a long time wandering through these setups, from the earliest days of the rudimentary one-person Pong device (controlled by a single knob) to the latest in motion control technology. The exhibit actually starts with a series of unplayable arcade cabinets, allowing for a brief history lesson on some of the old world circuitry. I admit, this part feels like a blur because upon turning the corner I was greeted by some solid banks of old games.

There was our misguided attempt at a tank battle on a malfunctioning Atari 2600, and a Mario Kart 64 race. I tried to explain the sarcastic humour of Portal, and then reminisced on the experience of playing The Secret of Monkey Island for the first time. There was a corner for PaRappa the Rapper, and a Lara Croft statue. I played Sonic the Hedgehog for the first time in ages, and then remembered that I hate Sonic the Hedgehog. My companion went on a search in vain for a Pokemon Snap console, though an overwhelming number of Pokemon games were demoed. A dude was bogarting the NBA Jam machine, as you’d expect. Then, the Virtusphere appeared, with its promises of “the ultimate, within-the-game locomotion interface” that is, according to the Discovery Channel, “a virtual reality tool that comes closer than most to the Holodeck of Star Trek fame”.  Despite the breathless promises of virtual reality and motion machines since as long as I can remember, it was out of service. There was not one hint of a Virtual Boy, either. Turning the corner into an isolated square room, we found a solitary kid bouncing around in front of an Xb0x Kinect, the look of joy and concentration on his face was something to behold. Lacking the writerly ability to describe it, I submit the following:

Shown here: Xbox Kinect, Innocence.

Shown here: Xbox Kinect, Innocence.

Eventually, after being dragged away (I had just found the Super Smash Bros. terminal, things could have gotten ugly), we wandered back upward through the remnants of the carnival-like science arcade. Though it looks a little drab now, there were buttons to push and physics principles to be delightfully explained. These sections of the Centre feel inevitably smaller, somehow. I could remember more of what was no longer there than what was present. Gone was the wild old school room of puzzles and science feats, with its tables of small devices and computers with trackballs. Missing was the sports science section and the ‘try to land like a cat’ exhibit. The man-made jungle zone remains, and some of the animals, and you can still stand on a scale and watch a cylinder fill with a volume of water corresponding to your mass.

We made our way finally to a Rube Goldberg-esque setup in one of the lobby spaces (near the Kidspark zone where “Adults must be accompanied by a child”). The contraption is a loosely connected series of tracks and tubes, ups and downs. Wooden balls are entered in at one end and roll through a small series of slides, hitting xylophones, clanging through mini-Plinko boards, spinning along funnels. There are a half dozen entry points to the contraption; six points where kids can pick up a sphere and let it loose.

After reflecting on all those old video games, this setup felt quaint. Of course, I was still thinking in 8-bit memories, remember the running and jumping of a different time that was not without its own sepia tint. Standing back from it, I could see that despite its scale and presumed intricacy, the machine was not overly complex. There were just a few simple interactions. Metal clanged, balls rolled, a large pendulum swung overhead. Physics and science did their thing. There was no sky reaching challenge to it but the kids stood entranced anyway. I, however, could now see over the top of the wall.

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May 14 2013
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Hockey, Sports

Elite Eight: The NHL 2nd Round Playoff Preview

By: Chris Dagonas

After a rush of weekend games and a pair of Game 7s on Monday, we’ve made it to the Second Round of the NHL Playoffs. Since I don’t want to dwell on the events of the first round (RIP Leafs), we’ll get right to the predictions for the next batch of showdowns.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

(1) Chicago Blackhawks vs (7) Detroit Red Wings

The Chicago Blackhawks steamrolled through their first-round matchup with Minnesota (as predicted by everyone) and now get to play the surprising Detroit Red Wings. Corey Crawford was spectacular in the previous series, and the offense clicked immediately. Jonathan Toews has been disappointing offensively, but he also spent a large part of the series keeping Zach Parise’s line in check. Unsung hero: Bryan Bickell. Three goals on just 8 shots mean a shooting percentage of 37.5 percent. Chicago will undoubtedly face a tougher test from Detroit in round 2, Hossa and Kane and company will be locked down by tougher defensive matchups, and secondary scorers like Bickell will be key to keep the Hawks’ momentum going.

Chicago thanks its fans for watching them dismantle Minnesota.

Chicago thanks its fans for watching them dismantle Minnesota.

Go figure on those Detroit Red Wings, huh? A really tough match against a very good Anaheim squad, and the only California team I picked to win their matchup has been eliminated. Detroit, meanwhile, advances to meet the Blackhawks. I figure their season has run its course. Jimmy Howard has been very average in net, with a 2.74 Goals Against Average and .911 save percentage, and that just won’t cut it against the Hawks offense. It barely cut it against the Ducks. Teams coming off 7-game series are usually worn down, injured, or downright exhausted, so while the Hawks must be feeling fresh after dispatching the Wild in just 5 games, the Red Wings face a quick turnaround to a Wednesday night meeting in Chicago.

Prediction: Blackhawks in 6

The Detroit Octopus. Scourge of Lake St. Clair.

The Detroit Octopus. Scourge of Lake St. Clair.

(5) Los Angeles Kings vs (6) San Jose Sharks

What is with California and hockey teams? This isn’t exactly a hockey hotbed, traditionally, but these teams keep finding ways to win, despite grueling flights across time zones and ice that must start to have a similar texture to a Dairy Queen Blizzard in May. The Los Angeles Kings sent the St. Louis Blues packing in 6 games, swinging the series with a game 5 road win.  The key player here has been the unheralded Mike Richards, who provided plenty of offense with 5 assists, but also managed a +2 for the series after finishing the regular season as a -8 player. Much was made of this series being exceedingly tough, even by playoff hockey standards. Remember, the Kings won the Cup last year, playing late into June. Hockey, of all sports, is the toughest to repeat as champions because of the demands of several 6-or-7 game series. The Kings will meet their California counterpart, the San Jose Sharks, for round 2, and this will be a grueling series.

Are the Sharks ready to jump over the Kings?

Are the Sharks ready to jump over the Kings?

OK, OK, I completely missed the boat on the San Jose Sharks. I had the Canucks winning in six, based mainly on the Sharks’ struggles on the road and their aging core. But the Sharks surprised me, and many others, by winning the first two in Vancouver. By that point, given the Canucks fragile psyche, the series was as good as over. Perhaps I didn’t watch enough of the Sharks’ games during the regular season to see that Couture and Pavelski are already the stars to whom Thornton and Marleau are handing the keys to the franchise. They certainly played that way in round 1. Antti Niemi is playing like he did during the Blackhawks’ Stanley Cup run, and there is obviously a lot more life left in the Sharks’ tank (ha, get it?) than I thought a couple of weeks ago. The Sharks have had lots of time off after sweeping the Canucks, and await a matchup with Los Angeles.

Prediction: Sharks in 7

EASTERN CONFERENCE

(1) Pittsburgh Penguins vs (7) Ottawa Senators

First off, major credit to the Islanders for putting a minor scare into the Penguins in Round 1. Other teams might be thanking them for rattling Marc-Andre Fleury so severely that the Pens have turned to Tomas Vokoun for the last 2 games.  Having your starting goalie replaced in the playoffs can’t be good for your squad’s confidence. Vokoun is more than capable, sure, but he’s a backup for a reason. Will the Penguins return to Fleury for round 2 against the Senators, and which Fleury will we see? We know that the Senators have solid goaltending, so the Fleury question could be the one that decides the Penguins’ fate. We all know this team can score tons, but will they be able to solve Craig Anderson, and will their backend provide enough defensive cover for the offense to take control?

Shouldn't Crosby be playing up this new Hannibal Lecter look?

Shouldn’t Crosby be playing up this new Hannibal Lecter look?

The Ottawa Senators completely dismantled the Montreal Canadiens.  I had Ottawa winning in 7, but they were much more efficient than that, dispatching the Habs in only 5 short games. Craig Anderson was hot, like Wayne Gretzky 3D Hockey hot. Montreal’s “offense” struggled mightily against Anderson and his defense, and the frustration boiled over into an ugly game 4. This team is built around Anderson, but the offense comes from Erik Karlsson and, somehow, Daniel Alfredsson has not only been relevant, but effective. Ottawa now faces a Penguins team that is a far better team than Montreal. Anderson will need to stand on his head for the Senators to have a shot, and even that might not be enough. Good news for the Senators, though: the Islanders  made the Penguins work for this series win, so a little extra fatigue and wear and tear could be a factor. Maybe. But don’t count on it.

Prediction: Penguins in 6

(4) Boston Bruins vs (6) New York Rangers

The Boston Bruins have to be exhausted. They were just pushed to the brink by the Leafs, and needed a miraculous third period to squeak by. I don’t anticipate the Rangers to be so generous with the puck in their own zone, nor will Henrik Lundqvist make the kind of rookie mistakes that James Reimer was making, like poor rebound control and shaky puck handling. The offense stalled for two and a half games, and Toronto wasn’t able to punish them, but the Rangers will.  Also, Boston’ defense is decimated by injuries at this point, with Dennis Seidenberg and Wade Redden both on the mend.  That may be enough of a weakness for the Rangers, led by Rick Nash, to exploit.  On offense, the Bruins can spread the puck around nicely, with three competent, and huge, lines of forwards.  David Krejci has heated up, but scoring can come from almost anyone on these Bruins.

These guys just want to hug. Playoff hockey!

These guys just want to hug. Playoff hockey!

Did you hear the one about Alex Ovechkin and his encounter with a bear? The bear thought he was dead so it left him alone.  Seriously, could there be a hockey captain who cared any less about hockey than this guy? Also, Henrik Lundqvist just played 120 minutes of shutout hockey in the playoffs.  Talk about heating up at the right time. These Rangers look dangerous now, and when it briefly looked like the Leafs would be meeting them in the second round last night, I was nervous.  Then it all turned sour and I was depressed.  Anyway, enough about me.  Remember when I said that Derek Stepan was key to that round 1 series?  Well, Ovechkin managed just 2 points in 7 games, and was extremely lazy on the back check, and that can be attributed to Stepan and friends shutting him down nightly. Can they do the same with Boston’s talented group of forwards?

Prediction: Rangers in 7

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May 13 2013
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TV

Mad Men Monday Recap – Man With A Plan

By: Daniel Reynolds

Heading into its sixth season, the Same Page welcomes you each week to the Mad Men Monday Recap. A show as deep as this one needs a little diverse commentary so jump in and enjoy the irreverent breakdown of each episode. 

Mad-men-title-card

What’s Happening on Madison Avenue?

It is worth taking a minute to discuss what happened in each episode, right? If you’re looking for some straight talk on what we just saw on Mad Men, read this section (and then read the other sections because, why not).

It definitely felt like Robert Kennedy had everything under control. He was aiming to be the next President of the USA, riding in on a renewed wave of optimism. Then, in a chaotic scene, with mobs of people crashing around the nominee, shots were fired. In the ultimate tragic out-of-control situation, Kennedy was killed. This shocking moment was the last scene of Mad Men this week, and it drove home a clear point. Whether in a small plane, or pacing around an office, or stashed in a hotel room: we’d all like to feel like we have some degree of mastery over our lives.

But first, it is definitely chaos. The CGC people are invading the SCDP offices and everyone is on edge trying to figure out how they fit in. Pete, naturally, is worried about whether or not he’ll be able to keep his seat at the big boy table (literally and figuratively). He’s already lost control of his home life while his mother has clearly lost her grip on her mind and reality (though when Mrs. Campbell snaps alert at the offer of a G and T, my heart was warmed). Pete’s stature in the office is the sole thing that defines him these days. He’ll tell his mother to go to hell to keep his position (Happy Mother’s Day Mrs. Campbell!).

Despite the disorder of the office, Roger still gets some of the best lines (and the episode was directed by John Slattery). Setting the tone on the recent merger, Roger fires former head of accounts, Burt Peterson. You know, he kind of reminds me of that guy from Office Space who kept insisting he had people skills. There are redundancies now and while Pete (and the rest of the main cast) should relax, there is definitely an anxiety creeping around. Well, OK, it is probably all just being generated by Pete and Harry (complaining about his office again). Don appears to be completely unaffected, but then again, his whole life is defined by who he is controlling.

You see, for the women in Don’s life, when they need him he is enthralled but their independence is not something he likes to deal with. Too messy. We don’t see Megan much this episode, but it is clear that with her career developing, Don wants (but really needs) something new to possess. The ongoing tryst with Sylvia takes an unseemly turn this week as Don attempts to fit her into a neat hotel room shaped box. For all of Don’s attempts at cool, his final ‘please’ is sadly transparent. He needs.

On a happier note: Bob Benson, turning all of that irritating good cheer to good use. Finally, we have a reason for Bob besides being an ever present punching bag (though Peterson does tell him to kiss his own ass). Is Bob just sucking up to the right people finally? I mean, Joan does end up saving his job. Or, as Gail reminds, a nice gesture could just still be a nice gesture. Frankly, I’m overwhelmed by the whole thing. Is Bob about to sweep Joan off her feet? Are we prepared for that universe?

After some slow episodes, Mad Men is definitely picking up its pace. A narrative course that seemed much too smooth (or boring, depending on who you ask) has gotten a lot bumpier now this season. Everything feels like it could blow away at any time (well, except Bert Cooper. He’s a rock). But, maybe Teddy is right; the ride does get a lot smoother once you get above the darkness and confusion of the clouds. The plane levels off, you flip on your shades and soar above it all. Your problems are small and you can convince yourself that the mastery of them is easy, even as you sit in a tiny piece of metal amid a vast, unforgiving sky. RFK was on top of the world too, but no one is really in complete control, right?

The Symbolism Rankings

Enjoy, with minimal comment, the weekly rankings for whatever symbolism Matthew Weiner has heavily stacked into each Mad Men episode. A show set in the world of advertising is only as good as its symbolism, right?

1) Red Dress

2) Boardroom office chair

3) Football

4) Bobby Kennedy

5) Pillar

Back in the Day

Remember the 1960s? Mad Men really values its sense of place. To that end, here’s where we make mention of whatever anachronistic or historical element popped up this week.

So let’s see, we had Pete trying to figure out how to deal with his demented mother (there really is no nicer way to say that). This isn’t exactly locked into a specific time period. OK, how about Don and Sylvia meeting at a hotel for a midday tryst? Exciting, but dated? Hmmm, I feel like that still happens. Not a particular throwback there. The emergency room that Bob Benson takes Joan to is just as gross and poorly run then as they can be now. Nothing doing so far. Where are the ‘blowing smoke directly into a baby’s face’ or ‘shaking off picnic blanket garbage in a park’ moments from this episode?

Wait, I’ve got it! The drinking. We can always count on the drinking!

In a situation that seemed unfathomable as recently as two weeks ago, we now get to see Don and Teddy, two presumptive creative geniuses, work and drink together. What do we learn? Teddy can fly small aircraft, can put on shades in a crisis and run a tight meeting (or at least one that you shouldn’t be 40 minutes late for). However, Don can drink him under the table. Before we start trying to picture our bosses drunkenly stumbling through the halls, we’ll always have that image of Teddy sashaying into the creatives’ office, pleading the case for Bobby Kennedy, lambasting Nixon and collapsing in a heap. So basically, check-check-check, we could definitely only be in the 1960s. We did it.

This Week in Ken! (Cosgrove. Accounts.)

As the most likeable guy in the entire series, Ken Cosgrove deserves his chance to shine. Here’s where we discuss what everyone’s favourite earnest moonlighting sci-fi writer was doing or not doing on the last episode.

Our boy Ken(!) Cosgrove didn’t make an appearance this week for the first time this season. Nevertheless, his presence was felt. There was a time when Burt Peterson (I know what you’re thinking: who?) was running accounts, but now Ken, while maybe not the man in charge, is the definitely the golden boy.

Chalk this up as another reason to like Ken. While we watch Pete scramble around the SCDP/CGC offices worried about losing his job, and see Harry being Harry (re: sitting around, burping), Ken is off in Detroit being taken on a tour of the Chevy factory. He is saying nice things to auto execs and probably calling his wife each night to tell her how it went. Ken is not worried about losing his job, even as Peterson (honestly, don’t even remember that guy) is getting canned (again!) and others are cut loose without a second thought (sorry Margie, we never knew you).

And I guess getting called a six foot version of Alan Ladd ain’t too bad either. And much like Ladd’s most famous character, Shane, I say to Ken: Come back! Come back!

Know Your Role

Since so much of Mad Men is predicated on minute character interactions, here’s where we discuss the top conflicts that happen in each week’s episode and decide on a winner.

Right from the start, Sylvia was in for a fight. While Dr. Rosen seems like a pretty adroit guy, he also comes off as someone very concerned with his career. He’s in command of his profession, and doesn’t like distractions (even if they involve his son and wife). Unfortunately for Sylvia, despite seeming to put Arnold in his place off-screen, she trades one type of control for another and says the magic word to Don: need. Oh no, you say that to Don, say that you neeeeed him and suddenly you’re waiting in a hotel room all day just for him to show up. As a result, throughout the episode we are treated to Don’s dirtbag macho Jedi mind tricks (which mostly amount to staring intently, carefully modulating your voice and being handsome).

But, swerve, Sylvia eventually shakes out of Don’s increasingly flailing grasp. In fact, Don’s grasp was so flailing that he had to almost plead with Sylvia to get back into bed. It was decidedly not a pretty situation. Though, I admit that it already feels like a tremendous relief to me. I don’t know how much more debasement of Lindsay Weir I could handle. Let her go raise her son and live with her family, Don. There are apparently plenty of women who will sit near you that you can tune out.

Winner: Sylvia

Actual Advertising

Between the drinking, the social commentary and the drinking, sometimes the people of SCDP and Madison Avenue actually do some work on advertisements. Here is where we sit in the seat of the client, trying to figure out what the hell these ad guys are talking about.

For their first big team-up, the SCDP/CGC crew work on… margarine. I haven’t been this unenthusiastic since the great baked beans fiasco of earlier this season. Still, we’ve got a job to do. What do we know about margarine? How do we sell it? Thank God for Peggy, or else we’d never have known that it was invented for the French armies of Napoleonic times. How’s that for a tagline? Margarine: It never spoils and you can eat like a Frenchman. In the military.

The important thing to note here is the different working tactics. Teddy definitely seems like the kind of guy that likes to have ‘rap sessions’ to talk about ideas. He doesn’t realize of course that this will unleash the Ginsberg and all his wild ideas. Smart move on Teddy’s part to quickly, quickly remind Ginsberg that there are in fact wrong answers. Still, the bullpen style of collaboration is in full effect, which always seems like it would be a fun way to work, even if the camaraderie is a little forced (and there is a lot of margarine covered toast).

Oh, and we also learned that being five to ten minutes late for a creative meeting is reasonable but 40 minutes is a bridge too far. Doesn’t Teddy realize that Don has got a serious psycho-sexual domination game going on right now? The nerve of that guy.

All in all, Joan came out alright this episode.

Joan is all smiles for… Bob Benson? Out of control, indeed.

Next Episode Predictions

This is where we watch the totally opaque preview for next week’s episode and make wild guesses as to what will happen next.

An admission: I had to go out of my way to find the Next on Mad Men preview online and make the effort to watch it. What is happening over here with AMC? I feel like they are not taking these previews seriously and just relegating them to their backsite cesspool. Why does Weiner get to have his shows run straight into the second hour? Who’s hand is on the tiller over there? Nevermind.

All that effort and I really just want to talk about that dramatic zoom that starts off the promo. Don on the stairs, mid-step staring into the middle distance. So much to contemplate there. I think Jon Hamm’s chin may make the Symbolism Rankings next week.

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May 09 2013
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Hockey, Media, National Affairs, Sports, TV, Urban Affairs

About Wednesday Night: How Three Maple Leafs Fans Took In Game 4

By: Chris Dagonas

On Wednesday Night, Same Page Team members Chris Dagonas, Paul Andreacchi and Ian Clark gathered at Casa Andreacchi to watch the Toronto Maple Leafs take on the Boston Bruins in Game 4 of their playoff series. It was a tense night, filled with joy, rage, hope, sodium, anxiety, beer, and ultimately, disappointment. For your reading pleasure, we present a vague minute-by-minute account of the proceedings.

Delicious. Seductive.

The snack of choice; delicious, seductive.

7:00 PM – I arrive, bringing my tablet with me to take notes/check my fantasy baseball team. Paul has beers on ice. Usual seating arrangements are assumed.  Paul on the couch, me on the Lazy Boy.

7:10 PM – PFC. Scotty Newlands belts out the national anthems in his serious, military-style fashion. The crowd helps him out by warbling some of the tougher notes. The tension can be cut with the edge of a Triscuit.

7:15 PM – Puck drop, and the Leafs start on a positive note by winning the face-off. Is this an omen?

7:18 PM – GGGGOOOOAAAALLLL!!! Joffrey Lupul snipes one past Tuukka Rask, Leafs take a 1-0 lead. Beers and Triscuits are opened and passed around.

7:25 PM – Ian arrives, hears about Leafs lead, promptly removes shirt and socks, enjoys traditional playoff hockey dinner of jerked chicken sandwich.

8:00 PM (roughly) – GGGGOOOOAAAALLLL!!!! Cody Franson floats one through every player on the ice, plus several ushers, and into the net.  2-0 Leafs. The beer is flowing like wine, and we’re tossing Triscuits into the air like miniature graduation caps.

8:05 PM – First intermission. We sweep Triscuit crumbs off the floor and eagerly anticipate Don Cherry’s observations. Plaid suit, check.  Senseless ranting, check. Awkward pauses expertly filled by Ron MacLean’s skill as a TV host, check. Coach’s Corner, never change.

8:07 PM – A lengthy debate on the merits of “Fast and Furious 6”. It is decided that we will attend a screening and yell about the lack of bicycle transportation depicted.

8:20 PM – Second period begins, Boston scores one, we turn to Leafs TV for live coverage of Maple Leaf Square. All that remains are two janitors and a homeless guy.

8:21 PM – All the people from Maple Leaf Square have migrated to various rooftop patios to drown their sorrows. We do love our patios.

8:34 PM – A Clay Davis “shhhheeeeeiiittt” comment (in response to a barrage of shots from the Bruins) has erupted into a verbal war over the best scenes from “The Wire”. My candidate: Snoop buys a Hilti. Other contenders: D’Angelo explains chess, D’Angelo is curious as to the whereabouts of Wallace, Randy loses faith in the Baltimore Police Department.

And why can't the Leafs hold onto a lead?

And why can’t the Leafs hold on to a lead?

8:37 PM – David Krejci scores a goal. This is going to become a repetitive line.  The mood has gone from grand buffet celebratory eating and drinking to shameful binge eating and drinking. We crack open another beer and box of Triscuits, and I swear I see a tear fall from Paul’s eyes. 2-2 game.

8:45 PM – OK, we now hate each other and ourselves. Krejci scores again, Boston takes a 3-2 lead, we are making sounds similar to the helium being released from a blimp. We’re fighting over socks.

8:47 PM – GGGGOOOOAAAALLLL!!!! Clarke MacArthur has recaptured our hearts and taken us to the highest peaks of fandom. “Toronto is great”; “We really do have a chance to win it all”; “I’ll book my tickets for the Stanley Cup finals now!” and other such ridiculous things are said.

8:48 PM – All fans have returned to Maple Leaf Square now. Hundreds of unpaid bar tabs on various rooftop patios have thrown Toronto’s economy into a tailspin.

8:50 PM – Second period ends, I try to take Paul’s seat. Paul puts me into a sharpshooter that would make Bret “The Hitman” Hart proud. I try to grab a rope, but realizing I’m not in a wrestling ring, tap out.

9:10 PM – Third period has started, hearts in mouths. Triscuits and beers also in mouths.

9:23 PM – Mark Fraser blocks a shot with his forehead, leaves game. CBC for some reason decides to show his blood on the ice. Fraser and Blue Jays pitcher J.A. Happ bond over their mutual injuries and discover they now have telekinetic powers.

9:28 PM – A quick look at the Jays game – Ugh, never mind.

9:37 PM – James Reimer’s fiancée April and Elisha Cuthbert (Dion Phaneuf’s fiancée) are in the Air Canada Centre, one row apart. We respectfully and tastefully comment on their beauty. That is all.

9:40 PM – Third period ends. This game is going to overtime. Miami Heat-Chicago Bulls update: Heat ahead by 30 million.

9:44 PM – A short digression on whether free will can ever truly exist. Naw, just kidding, Paul farts and we discuss the smell.

10:00 PM – Overtime begins with us on the edge of our seats. Toronto starts fast, Rask makes plenty of saves.  Remember when he was part of the Leafs organization? John Ferguson Jr remembers.

Krejci drives the knife into an entire city. (Photo: CBC)

Krejci drives the knife into an entire city. (Photo: CBC)

10:25 PM – Krejci again. Boston wins 4-3. Boston takes 3-1 series lead. This image of April Reimer and Elisha Cuthbert steals my heart [Ed. Note: They seem like good friends]. Toronto fans leave Maple Leaf Square in a disgusted, confused, drunken haze. Ian and I leave Paul’s house in same.

Just your average night at Paul’s. And for Leafs fans, of course, just another night of  high expectations and cruel disappointment.  We are on the brink of elimination, but you better believe that we will be in the same spot at the same time on Friday night, cheering them on again, until the bitter, salty end.

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